bobjots : redux

I need some space and some time to work out some issues. Don’t ask me what issues they are. I haven’t figured it out myself either. Depression can hit like a fog; subtle, imperceptible, unrealised until one is totally enveloped in it. Good luck trying to figure out what’s around you in those circumstances.

And contrary to the perceptions of some, I am NOT incommunicado. I can be reached. I may not be reaching out by choice but I am not cutting myself totally from the rest of the world. Its like I wanna talk about it but I don’t wanna talk about it - probably because I don’t know what the heck it is that I’m supposed to be talking about. Heck, why would I even be putting this up on my publicly accessible blog if it weren’t some bloody subconscious cry for help.

But this does go out to family, friends, employers and well meaning strangers - I am confronting and working on some inner demons right now. They couldn’t have picked a worst time to surface but surfaced they did. And if I seem to be much more introverted and antisocial than usual and have been inexplicably missing from my normal routine; or routine that’s expected from me .. I apologise sincerely. But I do need some friggin’ space.

I don’t want to sleep with you
I don’t need the passion too
I don’t want a stormy affair
To make me feel my life is heading somewhere
All I want is the comfort and care
Just to know that my woman gives me sweet -
Mother love

    I’ve walked too long in this lonely lane
    I’ve had enough of this same old game
    I’m a man of the world and they say I’m strong
    But my heart is heavy and my hope is gone

    Out in the city, in the cold world outside
    I don’t want pity, just safe place to hide
    Mama please, let me back inside

I don’t want to make no waves
But you can give me all the love that I crave
I can’t take if you see me cry
I long for peace before I die
All I want to know that you’re there
You’re gonna give me all your sweet -
Mother love

My body’s aching, but I can’t sleep
My dreams are all the company I keep
Got such a feeling as the sun goes down
I’m coming home to my sweet -
Mother love